Continuing our conversation about college and college admissions, this is the main point: colleges aren’t just looking for perfect résumés. They’re looking for people. And just as important as going out and living your life, collecting moments and experiences, the way you tell your story matters just as much as the grades you’ve earned.

That’s why for this week’s post (and just in time for Christmas shopping), I wanted to spotlight a book that completely reframes how students (and families) can approach this process: Standing Out by Stepping Back: The Zen of Getting Into Selective Colleges by Elizabeth Gardener.

According to the author’s bio and from having read the book, Elizabeth is an attorney who was also an admissions officer and coach, having seen firsthand what makes applications rise above the rest. In this book, she shares her advice and includes actual essays, honors, activities, and letters from students accepted into prestigious institutions such as UVA, Duke, Yale, Princeton, and Cambridge. I was blown away by the amount of transparency and genuine generosity in this book. It’s truly rare to get this kind of insider look, and the bonus is that she delivers it with clarity and in a positive tone that encourages students to discover their own narrative and unique selling points. too.

Why This Book Matters

Reading this, I was struck by how practical and human her advice is. Instead of generic “be yourself” tips, she breaks down all the topics in a logical fashion and even discusses their relative importance to each other. Here are some highlights from the book:

• How to position yourself as early as freshman and sophomore year.
• What specific virtues colleges are looking for in their candidates.
• How to decide which extracurriculars are worth your time.
• Whether or not to take the SAT/ACT in today’s test-optional landscape.
• How to think about disclosing your racial, social, or economic background.
• Even which admissions “rules” are okay to bend.

Takeaway and ACTIONABLE STEPS

Honestly, I wish I had this book when I was applying to college because that was honestly the most stressful time in my life. This book would have been amazing, and now that it’s been written by someone out there with credible expertise in the area, my hope is that more people will discover it! So parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, consider giving this book as a gift this holiday season.

You can find the book in the Nursekalydoes amazon shop along with other life-changing books that I recommend. Note, that if you do decide to make a purchase through this link, I will get a small commission. But note, I have no personal connection to Elizabeth Gardener or the book, it’s simply that I’ve read the book and am absolutely recommending it.